These Wretched Games We Play

    Well damn . This is set up to be one hell of a humdinger.  I'm not gonna pretend to be unbiased, leave that to the scientists to grapple with in futility. This is sports , where we can live out the darkest latent impulses of tribalism permanently lurking in the recesses of the human soul, all through the vicarious spectacle of sweaty millionaires injuring each other over a piece of leather.  Is there anything better than that? Clearly yes, because if you followed football you'd be reading something else. Apparently, your fall/winter Sundays don't revolve around the "Gameous Gumptions of Gridiron Grabbies". I find that non-football fans devote these Sundays to one of the "3 G's": God, video Gaming, or G-Other Pursuits Entirely. Whatever the case, you're stuck watching this Orgy of Yardage at the behest of family, friends and food.  I'm here to provide a lil context to the event. Hopefully this makes it a bit more barrable to watch; maybe y...

  Same premise as last time! You're at a Superbowl party to appease your loved one and mooch free chicken wings. But for the next 4 (or 4 1/2, should overtime come) hours, you've gotta blend in and let em buy that you're "one of them". Any successful operation requires background intelligence, and that's why I wrote this for you, comrade .  Why didn't you write one of these last year? You mean Superbowl XV? You actually went  to a party to celebrate that hunk o junk garbage ass trash can ass dumpster diver dishwasher disposal waste reclamation center parody of a football game? That shit was ass! Why did anyone subject themselves to it? There would've been nothing to talk about anyways. That game was the equivalent of watching The Hobbit  trilogy and then following it up with a second viewing of The Hobbit trilogy.  Pictured: Tom Brady systematically picking apart Kansas City's defense Who's playing this year? The elite L.A. Rams  take on the fr...

"Is there anything as torturous as the life of a noble? Better to have been born a street beggar, to have a short life but one full of stories! Now let's make something of ourselves!" - Kwitty Odighizuwa, Esq. The old age of adventuring draws to an end. There are still treasures to be found, adventure to embark upon. But hitherto, adventurers have been little more than itinerant mercenaries, scorned by all classes. They are labeled murderers, thieves and hellions. How could they not behave in this way? The common folk cast aspersions on them, and the elite exploit their labour and talents. Proud as these adventurers might appear, they are their master's fodder. But that shall change! Eons of turmoil have molded the us into a civilized people. We will create a world where titles and lineage matter not, whereupon it will be one's abilities and merit that will determine their fate. The forces of capital and industry will propel us into the future! Call yourself not a...