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Non-Football Fans Guide Superbowl 58

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Non-Football Fans Guide to Superbowl 58  So a lot, if not most, of the people attending Superbowl parties this year are not going to be football fans. You've either gone for free food or have been reluctantly dragged along and will take part in this strange American tradition with football playing in on the background. There's nothing wrong with treating it like that, football is a weird game the main purpose of which is to allow men to not think about their emotions.  But! What if you have to talk to one of your male relatives at the party? What if your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/polycule is into it and you want to seem supportive? What if you have an inkling of curiosity as to what's actually going on in the game? What if we've been here before? What if we've already done this. What if something is wrong. What if something is terribly wrong   Who's playing this year? This game features the  Kansas City  Chiefs  versus the  San Francisco  49ers . Kansas City.
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Non-Football Fans Guide to Superbowl 57

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    Well damn . This is set up to be one hell of a humdinger.  I'm not gonna pretend to be unbiased, leave that to the scientists to grapple with in futility. This is sports , where we can live out the darkest latent impulses of tribalism permanently lurking in the recesses of the human soul, all through the vicarious spectacle of sweaty millionaires injuring each other over a piece of leather.  Is there anything better than that? Clearly yes, because if you followed football you'd be reading something else. Apparently, your fall/winter Sundays don't revolve around the "Gameous Gumptions of Gridiron Grabbies". I find that non-football fans devote these Sundays to one of the "3 G's": God, video Gaming, or G-Other Pursuits Entirely. Whatever the case, you're stuck watching this Orgy of Yardage at the behest of family, friends and food.  I'm here to provide a lil context to the event. Hopefully this makes it a bit more barrable to watch; maybe y
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Non-Football Fans Guide to Superbowl 56

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  Same premise as last time! You're at a Superbowl party to appease your loved one and mooch free chicken wings. But for the next 4 (or 4 1/2, should overtime come) hours, you've gotta blend in and let em buy that you're "one of them". Any successful operation requires background intelligence, and that's why I wrote this for you, comrade .  Why didn't you write one of these last year? You mean Superbowl XV? You actually went  to a party to celebrate that hunk o junk garbage ass trash can ass dumpster diver dishwasher disposal waste reclamation center parody of a football game? That shit was ass! Why did anyone subject themselves to it? There would've been nothing to talk about anyways. That game was the equivalent of watching The Hobbit  trilogy and then following it up with a second viewing of The Hobbit trilogy.  Pictured: Tom Brady systematically picking apart Kansas City's defense Who's playing this year? The elite L.A. Rams  take on the fr
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