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The Non-Football Fans Guide to Talking About Superbowl 60 with your Friends and Family

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  [First time looking for SB art that had so much AI to have to trudge through. Yipeee]     This one is going to be short. Almost forgot to post it. I have a life nowadays, sue me. MEET THE TEAMS: The New England Patriots Boston, Massachusetts Ratings: Scenery: C Food: B+ Infrastructure: A+ Sports Culture: F- Relevance to the American Revolution: B+ The Patriots dominated Football for over a decade, winning 6 Superbowls across that period while the Arizona Cardinals have not even been  to the Superbowl in almost 100 years of existence. Everyone disliked them, and to make things worse, it made Boston sports fans very happy, which is a utilitarian negative. All Empires fall, however. After the dishonorable exile of Tom "Vader" Brady and Bill "Palpatine" Belichick, the team fell out of relevance, a rump state of past glories...for a few years. Then, just as quickly as they fell, they somehow returned.  (Being a Buffalo Bills/Miami Dolphins/New York Jets fan is eter...
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Non-Football Fans Guide to Talking About Superbowl 59 At a Party

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Headed to a Superbowl party this evening, but you're more of a "Superbowl Stump" than a "Superbowl Salutatorian" when it comes to football knowledge? This handy guide will allow you to impress your friends and family with a mix of hardcore analysis and frazzy fun facts. Who knows, by the end of the party you might just be the "Dick Butkus" (a real NFL player) of your social circle! "Kansas City Chiefs vs. Philadelphia Eagles is such a brilliant and original match-up! Bravo, Commissioner Goodell!" "If the Chiefs win, they'll have completed the first '3-Peat' in Superbowl history. This means they will have won 3 consecutive times." "If the Eagles win, they'll have broken the record for the most Superbowl victories in the 2024-25 NFL Season." "Modern football is really an 'Xs and Os' game. Analytical." "They're going to argue whether Patrick Mahomes or Tom Brady is the GOAT, but what...
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Non-Football Fans Guide Superbowl 58

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Non-Football Fans Guide to Superbowl 58  So a lot, if not most, of the people attending Superbowl parties this year are not going to be football fans. You've either gone for free food or have been reluctantly dragged along and will take part in this strange American tradition with football playing in on the background. There's nothing wrong with treating it like that, football is a weird game the main purpose of which is to allow men to not think about their emotions.  But! What if you have to talk to one of your male relatives at the party? What if your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/polycule is into it and you want to seem supportive? What if you have an inkling of curiosity as to what's actually going on in the game? What if we've been here before? What if we've already done this. What if something is wrong. What if something is terribly wrong   Who's playing this year? This game features the  Kansas City  Chiefs  versus the  San Francisco  49ers...
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Non-Football Fans Guide to Superbowl 57

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    Well damn . This is set up to be one hell of a humdinger.  I'm not gonna pretend to be unbiased, leave that to the scientists to grapple with in futility. This is sports , where we can live out the darkest latent impulses of tribalism permanently lurking in the recesses of the human soul, all through the vicarious spectacle of sweaty millionaires injuring each other over a piece of leather.  Is there anything better than that? Clearly yes, because if you followed football you'd be reading something else. Apparently, your fall/winter Sundays don't revolve around the "Gameous Gumptions of Gridiron Grabbies". I find that non-football fans devote these Sundays to one of the "3 G's": God, video Gaming, or G-Other Pursuits Entirely. Whatever the case, you're stuck watching this Orgy of Yardage at the behest of family, friends and food.  I'm here to provide a lil context to the event. Hopefully this makes it a bit more barrable to watch; maybe y...
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